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Does anyone have the lyrics to a parody about head lice?

Gary Burbank hosts a radio show in Cincinnati. Gary Burbank as Ryle Drepper on the Ranger Bob show sings a song about how he loves having head lice. He says it makes him feel special because they chose him as their host. It is from 1997.

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4 Comments

  1. blondiespam says:

    Some time ago, I’m not quite sure just when
    I got an infestation from a friend
    Well I said “Big date later, could you lend me your comb please”
    Then I noticed that my head had bugs and fleas

    I seen the bugs crawlin’ up through my hair, scurryin’ along
    And I wished I had not seen what I saw
    They won’t move to some other place
    It really feels like a disgrace
    And I wonder how to get them off my case
    Hey…

    [Chorus:]
    Head is always itchin’
    What a sad condition
    What did I do, to find myself in, this position
    My scalp is turning redder
    It isn’t getting better
    Won’t leave me alo-o-one
    These damn head lice

    It’s getting old
    It feels like getting worse each day
    And it’s so bad I sprayed my head with Raid
    But they took it all, snickering
    They’ve got no respect for me
    I’d give anything to make them leave

    I just want these bugs off my head
    ‘Cause my hair sure does itch
    So don’t ask to wear my hat or it’ll spread
    You don’t want these goddamn insects
    Don’t get too close or you’ll be next
    They’ll bite and breed, planting all their eggs
    Heyyyyy…

    Head is always itchin’
    What a sad condition
    What did I do, to find myself in, this position
    My scalp is turning redder
    It isn’t getting better
    Won’t leave me alo-o-one
    Those damn head lice

    Well truth be told
    These lice are gonna eat me up
    I fight the insects, but the insects aren’t hurt
    Well I’ve tried the creams, the shampoos and mess
    And none of them was a success
    I’ve tried it all and nothing seems to work
    Well, go home, you worthless ticks, go somewhere else
    Man, I ain’t crazed, but they’re drivin’ me insane
    I’ll rinse my hair with gasoline
    And strike a match and burn it clean
    I’ll make them dead, or they’ll start killin’ me
    Hey, hey, heyyyyyyyyy

    Come on, die a little
    Go away forever
    I’m ’bout to try, and kill them with a… patriot missile
    My scalp is turning redder
    It isn’t getting better
    They won’t leave me alone
    These damn head lice

  2. sleepisforsissies says:

    no but look up the lyrics to “Bugz on my nutz” by insane clown posse. download the song, its hilarious!!!

  3. yourexmyxfavorite says:

    this didnt say anything about gary burbank or anything but it could just be that it was posted by someone else. it says his name is “a guy named kenny” the original song is “one headlight” by: the wallflowers. this parody is called “damn head lice”. even if this isnt the right one, its the thought that counts. lol. but here it is.

    Some time ago, I’m not quite sure just when
    I got an infestation from a friend
    Well I said “Big date later, could you lend me your comb please”
    Then I noticed that my head had bugs and fleas

    I seen the bugs crawlin’ up through my hair, scurryin’ along
    And I wished I had not seen what I saw
    They won’t move to some other place
    It really feels like a disgrace
    And I wonder how to get them off my case
    Hey…

    [Chorus:]
    Head is always itchin’
    What a sad condition
    What did I do, to find myself in, this position
    My scalp is turning redder
    It isn’t getting better
    Won’t leave me alo-o-one
    These damn head lice

    It’s getting old
    It feels like getting worse each day
    And it’s so bad I sprayed my head with Raid
    But they took it all, snickering
    They’ve got no respect for me
    I’d give anything to make them leave

    I just want these bugs off my head
    ‘Cause my hair sure does itch
    So don’t ask to wear my hat or it’ll spread
    You don’t want these goddamn insects
    Don’t get too close or you’ll be next
    They’ll bite and breed, planting all their eggs
    Heyyyyy…

    Head is always itchin’
    What a sad condition
    What did I do, to find myself in, this position
    My scalp is turning redder
    It isn’t getting better
    Won’t leave me alo-o-one
    Those damn head lice

    Well truth be told
    These lice are gonna eat me up
    I fight the insects, but the insects aren’t hurt
    Well I’ve tried the creams, the shampoos and mess
    And none of them was a success
    I’ve tried it all and nothing seems to work
    Well, go home, you worthless ticks, go somewhere else
    Man, I ain’t crazed, but they’re drivin’ me insane
    I’ll rinse my hair with gasoline
    And strike a match and burn it clean
    I’ll make them dead, or they’ll start killin’ me
    Hey, hey, heyyyyyyyyy

    Come on, die a little
    Go away forever
    I’m ’bout to try, and kill them with a… patriot missile
    My scalp is turning redder
    It isn’t getting better
    They won’t leave me alone
    These damn head lice

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